Thursday, August 28, 2008

Lazy People

I'm probably going to get myself into a lot of trouble here, but I can't help it! I frequent a couple of online support groups for parents of RAD kids. I have found so much support there and the parents have helped me a great deal. That said, I read a post this morning from a mom who has given up and written off her NINE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER and was begging someone to give her information on residential facilities. When this woman was asked about therapy and techniques she has used, she listed all traditional therapies, which if you know anything about RAD, you know that traditional therapy doesn't work. She was unwilling to even consider attachment parenting or techniques and had basically tossed her nine year old daughter to the wolves saying she was too badly damaged!

I was so outraged by this "mother's" statement(and I use the term mother here very loosely) that I had to immediately exit the forum because I was afraid of what I would say. How can anyone say that they love there child and in the next breath say that there is no hope and they are too badly damaged and the only option is residential!


My opinion is this. This woman had a fairy tale picture in her mind of what adoption was going to be like. When the child refused to conform to this picture the child became damaged beyond repair and beyond hope. BULL! This woman didn't want to do the work! She didn't want to put in the blood, sweat and tears needed to help her daughter!

I KNOW IT IS HARD! I live it every day! But it is so worth it! If you are committed to your child's healing, they can get better! And when you see that glimmer of the child they can be? Your heart is even more determined to stay the course.

So there is my rant for today! I get so angry at lazy people. And in my mind, this woman was LAZY!!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Damn! Internet

My internet has been down all day!

I now have 29 minutes in which to get done 6 hours of work. Not going to happen.

I will post my Wednesday wish list and blog more tomorrow!

Wishful Wednesday

I wish that my internet provider would be more reliable!
I wish that I could be a stay at home Mom!
I wish that all my cyber friends will have a successful back to school transition.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Do you know what day it is?

Last night, we were running around the house trying to get all Alyssa's school supplies rounded up and packed into her book bag. I kept pushing, pushing, pushing, reminding her that open house was tonight and she had to have everything ready to go. We finally get everything together within minutes of me having to leave for a meeting.

This morning I was clutching my coffee cup and drinking (or should I say inhaling), desperately trying to wake up. Alyssa looks at me and says "Mom, do you know what day it is"? To which I respond, "Tuesday". She then says "Well, if it is Tuesday, why do we have to go to school tonight"? So I am thinking to myself what is she up to now? I stumble over to the calendar and point to open house on Tomorrow's date! She looks up at me all sweet and innocent and says, "Mommy, what would you ever do without me"? I pray that I will never have to find out!

In other news, this school year is shaping up to be a very busy one. The last two school years, we did not have Alyssa enrolled in any extra curricular activities. Jeff and I wanted to have time to bond as a family. This year, however, we decided that IF Alyssa wanted, she could join some activities. So far, she will have Choir practice every Tuesday, she will be taking violin lessons at school, and she is also talking about cheer leading and possibly dance or gymnastics. We came to a compromise. She is already committed to choir and violin. If she is able to maintain her commitments and stay caught up in school, we will let her try something else. I don't want her to take on too much and end up failing! She loves school - I want to keep it that way!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Triggers are Every Where

We have had a strange couple of days. I have been stewing about them, trying to sort them out, and this is what I came up with.

Wednesday night, we finished up our chores and we were watching The Cheetah Girls on TV. The movie ran past Alyssa's bed time, so I told her she could stay up to watch the end(even though she has seen the movie a million times). Well when the movie was over, I hopped up and said, OK tootz, bedtime. Alyssa got up very slowly(putz mode) and walked into her bedroom. I told her to put a scrunchy in her hair so that she didn't look like Cousin It in the morning and she completely lost it! She started screaming, crying, and she pinched me! Jeff and I got her settled down and into bed and she finally fell asleep.

Then yesterday, she was sooooooo whiney in the morning and moving in putz mode. When we got home from work/day care, she crawled up in my lap and wanted me to feed her a bottle. So, I got out her water bottle and we played baby. Jeff even got into the act and got a big towel out and "diapered" her butt! We went to church, came home, and Alyssa went to bed with no problems. This morning - AGH!!! I told Alyssa that if I heard any more whining, I was going to be forced to beat her! Her response? She laughed! I get no respect! Then she looks at me and asks if Daddy can pick her up tonight? Does she know who the weak link is or what?!

When I get home tonight her chores better be finished and her laundry put away. Otherwise Daddy's in Trouble!!!

I have given a lot of thought to Alyssa's outburst on Wednesday. First of all, they happen so rarely now that when they do happen, they freak us out! Secondly, I can usually figure out what set her off. I haven't been able to do that! I was thinking about it today at work and I kept coming back to what we were doing right before her blow up. We were watching the Cheetah Girls Movie. I kept coming back to that darn movie and then it hit me! One of the characters is a foster child and doesn't have a "real" mom! I think this triggered some big feelings and Alyssa didn't know how to handle them. So we will have a chat tonight and see if I'm right. Daddy will have to deal because I work at the bar tonight so I will have time to go home, change my clothes, and leave again. I'll let you all know what I find out!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Are you Done with This?

We went out for supper last night. Just because we were lazy and didn't feel like making anything to eat. So we went to a family restaurant and ordered our meals. I had soup as an appetizer and when I was finished the "host" came over and said, "May I take this for you"? Now you are probably thinking what awesome manners. Well, let me tell you that the dish was empty! I looked at Jeff, then I looked at Alyssa, and I'm like, is that guy for real??????

We continued on and enjoyed our meals. Our waiter offered us dessert and we all had ice cream(because Lisa, I am not a freak, and I love ice cream). So, I finish my ice cream and set the bowl down. The same "host" comes over and once again asks if he can take my empty bowl. So I look up at him and say "No, I would like to lick it clean!" So, he sets it back down and walks away!!!

The three of us burst out laughing and this guy had no clue! I really don't know why this struck us as being so funny, but we laughed are fool heads off! Some people just don't get it!

They say that laughter will add 8 years to your life. Maybe that will equal out all the unhealthy things I do????????

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Wishful Wednesday

A while back, Lisa accused me of holding out on her with Joy's blog. But holy Moly, she found the mother load of new blogger friends and I have to read about them in her blog. I have shamelessly copied her blog word for word here...

Kelly is in the process of finding her daughter. Joy has two little radishes. CJ is a really awesome mom to Sean and has a great post about Eye Lights today which I am going to check into. Thorn & Lee are also in the process of finding their children. Brenda is mom to two radishes too. Enough two/to for you? Maia is the sister to many and works tirelessly in a residential treatment facility with lots of little radishes. Please keep her on your prayer list as her family is going through a tough time right now. Newly found, Queen Mommy is the mother of two as well.

I am going to check out all your blogs immediately. If any of you would like to be linked to me, drop me a comment and I will add you to my blog list. I don't like to just automatically add as sometimes, parents of RADishes have acquired a deep need for privacy. I have however linked your blogs to this post. I have no shame! First I steal Lisa's words and now this! What is this world coming to?

I was reminded today that life is a matter of perspective. During our darkest hours, when we are praying for the sun and instead a candle appears, look at that candle and remember that while not the sun, our darkness is gone and we have been given light! Wow, am I deep today. This too was shamelessly stolen from a Mom on one of my online support groups! I really am a piece of work aren't I?

Our baptism is finally rescheduled. The Pastor called this morning and I jokingly reminded him to write it on the church calendar. He very sheepishly assured me that we were on the calendar. So Alyssa will officially be baptized on Sept. 28th. I found her a beautiful dress(actually a first communion dress) and got her gloves and a matching purse, so we are ready to go. I am going to take the plunge and send out the invites. I think I feel safe in doing this. Well, maybe I will wait a week or so....

My darling Miss Alyssa owes me three hassle chores tonight. Well not really hassle chores, more like late fees. Yesterday and today, we left the house late. She had been doing so good that yesterday when she was late, I kinda let her slide on the late fee. I told her that if she turned things back around today, she wouldn't owe me a chore. Well, guess what? Yup, late again. She didn't even have to get dressed this morning, it was Pajama Day! She also decided that she didn't want her cinnamon toast after specifically asking for it this morning. So, I threw it away and let her have something different and told her she needed to do a chore to pay me back for the wasted food. I know, I know, I should not have let her eat something else, but I could not send her off to daycare unfed! OK, let me have it, I deserve it!!!

So, anywho, chore night tonight. Miss Alyssa is going to clean the mirrors, dust, and sweep the floors. That should keep her busy for quite a while! I will continue with my unending pile of laundry! I used to wash 3 loads of clothes a week. That was B.A.(before Alyssa), now I am doing 3 loads of laundry a DAY! How can such a small person generate that much extra laundry?

I decided that I am going to implement my own version of Wishful Wednesday. Each Wednesday, I will list 5 things that I wish for. So here goes...(feel free to make additions or comment).

1) I wish that Alyssa's heart was healed.
2) I wish that my friends (both cyber and face to face) would not have to face the daily struggles that they have.
3) I wish that Tammy and Cody find peace.
4) I wish we had enough money so that I could hire a maid.
5) I wish we had a bigger house.

Feel free to add to the list. My rule - no repeats from week to week.

Hmmm... this could be kinda fun!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Another Day

Paulette is a wise woman!

We began therapy last night by catching up. We had a lot of very good things to report. Alyssa was contributing, sitting up straight, and making great eye contact.

Then we got to the things that we still needed to work on. Alyssa suddenly got extremely tired, rubbing the eyes, the big fake yawns, the whole bit. She slumped down on her chair, wouldn't make eye contact and suddenly didn't understand anything.

Paulette called her on it! She told Alyssa that just because we had some things to correct and continue working on, it didn't mean that she was a bad kid. She told Alyssa that she was upset that she was wasting her time and asked her to leave the room. She told Alyssa that when she was ready to contribute to the therapy and work on being a family kid again, she could come back!

Alyssa very reluctantly left the room. We didn't even have to wait 5 minutes when there was a knock on the door. Paulette opened the door and in comes a sobbing Alyssa. She was honest, she was sincere, and she was REAL. She was able to voice some of her concerns, and give some of her feelings a name. She also admitted that she was afraid to talk about the bad stuff 'cause she was worried that we would realize that she WAS a bad kid and wouldn't love her anymore.

So therapy was very emotional! But we got through it. Alyssa finally got down to work and made some really good progress. We started The Secret Inside my Head workbook and Alyssa really embraced the concept and is even looking forward to working on it at home tonight. Thanks again Lisa for the book, you are an awesome friend!

Did I tell you guys that Alyssa was finally getting baptized? Well, it took a long time for Jeff & I to find a church that we both felt comfortable in, but we finally joined St. Mark's and couldn't be happier. So anyway, we go ahead and schedule Alyssa's baptism. There was so much going on over the summer that in order to coordinate every one's schedules, we ended up scheduling her baptism for Sept. 7th at 10:30am. So, last Sunday I am reading the bulletin after church and realize that not only is there NO 10:30am service on Sept. 7th, it is also the kick off day for Sunday school. So, yesterday I called the pastor and he finally called me back today. I think we are going to reschedule her baptism! We could do it, but I want it to be a special day for Alyssa and I don't want anything else to interfere with that. I have to talk to Jeff, but I really think we are going to have to re-schedule. Thank God I didn't have the invitations out yet! Well, we definitely have to reschedule. I just got an email from the Pastor saying that the 7th was not going to work! We only scheduled this 2 months ago, but apparently, he forgot to put it on the calendar! Oh well, life goes on. We will pick another day!

Oh and Lisa, I read the story you linked me before. I could handle that alot better than this. Don't worry about us though. Even though Jeff acted like an ASS, I still love him and am in it for the long haul. It irks my ass, but is by no means divorce material! I will make him suffer a while though!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Back to School

We had an interesting weekend. Friday night we went to Jeff's ballgame, the last one of the season. They lost but ended up finishing in either 2nd or 3rd place. They had to wait for the results of one more game to come in. Jeff went out with his team mates to celebrate the end of their season. Miss Alyssa and I went home. We discovered that the neighbors had a fire going so we sat around outside for quite a while. Alyssa and the neighbor girl went in to watch a movie. Around 11:00, Jeff called to see if we were still awake. He was ready to come home and wanted us to pick him up. I left Alyssa watching her movie and picked him up. We got home and proceeded to sit outside until 1:00am!!! Even Miss Alyssa was up that late!

Saturday, we slept in for a little bit and then got up and I worked on taking Alyssa's braids out. We worked on that until noon and them I started getting ready for a wedding we had to go to. In the mean time, Alyssa and the neighbor girl decided to have a kool-aid stand and ended up making like $10.00!

The wedding was a complete and utter disaster! All that I will say is that this is the first time ever that I can sincerely say that my husband completely and totally embarrassed me! Suffice it to say that our home is not real happy right now!

Sunday was a lazy day! We went for breakfast after church and then came home and hit the couch. None of us moved until late afternoon! Alyssa & Jeff went for a ride and then Alyssa went to her friends to play. Me? I did very little all day!

Tonight we see Paulette. We have a lot of good things to report! Alyssa's behavior has been awesome. I have to admit, I am starting to see the back to school antzies. Alyssa's mouth is getting sassy and she is much more argumentative. It is the whole back to school thing. Which, if I am being totally honest, I just don't get! Alyssa is going to the same school AND she has the same teacher that she has had for the last two years. The only thing different this year is that she will have a locker. She seams really excited to go back, but I can see the nervousness too! Hopefully, we will be able to sort some of that out tonight.

Friday, August 15, 2008

A Home

Jeff had a busy afternoon with Alyssa yesterday. He picked her up from camp and when they got home he told her to pick up her room. Can you say meltdown? But, good news-no great news has come of this. Jeff sat down with Alyssa as she was attempting to kick, punch, scratch, etc. and asked her why she was trying to hurt Daddy. She started to cry and admitted that she didn't know! They were able to talk, and Jeff got out the feelings chart and she was able to identify "frustrated". The two of them together were able to determine that Alyssa was tired! She took a nap and woke up happy, respectful, and responsible!

I call that progress!

I must admit that I go through times of self doubt when I think that we are doing everything wrong and Alyssa is getting worse instead of better. But then I look back at what our life was like a year ago, and I realize how much progress Alyssa has really made. Is she perfect, no way! Is she healed? No, and I understand now that a child that has lived through that much trauma will never be 100% healed. How can she? Will she understand that she is loved and be able to love us in return? YOU BET! Will she have friends and live a successful life? Absolutely!

We have made a difference in her life. We have given her unconditional love, security, and stability. We are teaching her to be a good person. We are teaching her that it is OK to not be perfect. That it is OK to make mistakes. We are teaching her to learn from her mistakes and make better choices next time.

To all of you that get discouraged and think that all your hard work has been for nothing. I offer this. You have given your child a CHANCE at life! You have given them hope, and the opportunity to be successful. You may not have the relationship that you always thought you would have with your child, but you are making a difference in this child's life!

God has blessed you with this gift! The gift of LOVE! He chooses only the strongest to guide his weakest!

My life has been so blessed by my Alyssa! She drives me insane some days, but that little girl has brought more joy to our lives than I could ever have imagined. She has completed our family and made our house a home!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Dancing Shoes

OMG! I can't believe how irked I am!

Did you ever just want to slap the shit out of someone?

Well, that's how I feel today.

You can relax, my wrath is not directed at my Dear Little Alyssa! My irkedness is aimed at a co-worker! Now, you may or may not know this, but I usually blog at work. I know, I know, but we are really slow right now and I need something to fill my time! Any who, this guy, I'll call him idiot for short, is one of those people that always has to be the center of attention. So, as a result, he is the guy that is always the expert on EVERYTHING! He has to stick his nose into everything, even if it doesn't belong!

So, to get on with my rant. Idiot's desk looks like a bomb went off on it. It always does, so this is nothing new! Idiot goes to my boss and complains that instead of doing what I should be doing, I am talking on the phone!!! OK, now just for the record, this stems because Idiot said that he has been waiting for a quote from me for almost two weeks and I still haven't given it to him. Well, that quote has been sitting on Idiot's desk since last week Thursday!!! Instead of whining and bitching about me doing my job, why don't you get your fat head out of everyone's business and worry about your own job!!! But NO, that would mean that he would be "out of the loop". So today, instead of providing this quote to his customer that I made him wait two weeks for, he is out in receiving checking in freight and shipping stuff out! Why you ask? That's where I would be if I had customers waiting for me to give them a quote! UUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

Ok, rant over! I think I feel better!

I have to ask all of you to please say a prayer for my friend Lisa. Her daughter is dealing with some tough issues right now and could use your prayers.

A women on one of my forums posted this quote today and I wanted to share it. I thought it was very wise.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

It is raining right now, so I am going to put my dancing shoes on!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Time Flys

I really can't believe that it is Tuesday already! So, I guess I will try to catch everyone up.

Friday was a busy day for us. I worked all day, went home, changed my clothes, and went directly to my second job. Jeff and Alyssa went to Jeff's ballgame - They Won! Then they went up north. Jeff, God love him, helped Alyssa pack her clothes for the weekend. While she had stuff packed that I would not normally allow her to take for a weekend up north(more appropriate for school!), at least she had the right stuff. I had to laugh though when Jeff had her put her clothes in a paper bag!!! They had a great time Friday night, even though they both missed Mommy! I was told that the kids stayed up until 11:30 and Jeff went to bed right after. They really woop it up when Mom isn't around!

Alyssa got a really pretty necklace from Bruce, Tammy & Cody. It is a princess crown with her birthstone in it. She also got make-up(Thanks Tammy!), slippers, I can't remember everything, and her 9 yr old piece for her "Growing in Grace" collection. Tammy started this collection last year on Alyssa's birthday. She is getting Alyssa her new pieces and I am buying Alyssa her missed pieces. On our "gotcha" day anniversary, I bought Alyssa the one year piece. This year on our 2nd anniversary, I will get her the two year old piece. We figure she will be all caught up by the time she is 14! I brought steaks along with me when I came up so we had steaks for supper. I also brought along a Dairy Queen ice cream cake! YUM!!!

Saturday night Alyssa came into our room crying. She had such a stuffed up nose and couldn't breathe! I had her crawl in bed with Jeff and I. I told her to breathe through her mouth and I just rubbed her back. She was sound asleep within minutes. She fell into a very deep sleep and between Alyssa and Jeff both thrashing around I got kicked out of bed. I ended up sleeping in the recliner!

Sunday, we came home early and had a pretty lazy day. Jeff went to a church picnic, but Alyssa and I were both too lazy! We stayed home and watched movies all day. It was great!

Monday morning it was back to camp for Alyssa's final camp week! She is going to drama camp this week and from her reports yesterday, she is loving it. I spent the evening trying to fix Tammy's shirt.
You know I love you Tammy, but if you ever hack up a shirt again and expect me to fix it, I will beat you bloody! Why would anyone buy a shirt, have the sleeves be too tight, and then BEFORE talking to someone that actually knows what they are doing, rip the sleeves off!!!!!! I am finally done cleaning up her mess, I have the binding all pinned and tonight I will sew it. I don't like the binding I had to use, but the fabric is frayed! I don't have a whole lot of choice! YOU OWE ME - BIG TIME! I think a weekend of babysitting ought to cover it!

Whew, I feel much better! Alyssa is going to wash my car tonight, inside and out! She wants to do some extra chores so that she can earn some extra money. I told her that we would give her $5 a week to keep my car and Jeff's truck clean. The truck only has to be done on the inside. I think it is a fair deal considering that 90% of the mess is always hers anyway!

I have to start taking Alyssa's braids out tonight. She has had them in for 6 weeks already. Next time I will make sure that I use more neutral beads because although she has loved having her hair braided, she has not loved the fact that she has red, white, and blue stars! I can't believe that they have held up for so long. The time spent putting the braids in really is worth it!

After this week, we only have two more full weeks and then it is back to school! The summer went way to fast. I'm certainly not ready, and neither is Alyssa. She made the comment the other day that it seems like school just got out and it is already time to go back!

Before we know it, the snow will be flying!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Happy Birthday Alyssa!

Today my baby turns 9! Alyssa was out of bed at 5:45am. She came crawling in with Jeff & I and then said "Oh, you don't have to get up yet"! Like we could go back to sleep! So we got up and went downstairs and Alyssa opened her presents. She loved everything!

When I look back to last year, I am completely amazed how far my Alyssa has come. Last year, she kept waiting and looking for more gifts. This year, she stopped after each gift was opened and hugged us and said thank you! She was appreciative and grateful for each and every gift! She really has grown this past year. It amazes me the changes in her!

Yesterday was crazy hair day at the YMCA. This is Alyssa's "Crazy Hair".

Today Alyssa is going to Bay Beach with the Y. This park is awesome! She should have a great birthday! Tonight Jeff & Alyssa will be going up north. I will go up in the morning 'cause I have to work at Petek's tonight. Alyssa is so excited to see Cody!

We have had a great week at our house. Our "normal" has transitioned from complete chaos to a steady routine and a beautiful daughter that is responsible, respectful, and fun to be around. The "crazy" days are so few and far between now that it almost shocks us when Alyssa has a bad day. That my friends is the definition of "healing"!!!

This photo was taken last year on her birthday. Can you see the difference in her face? I notice the change in her eyes the most!

I just realized that in every single one of these pictures she is wearing "High School Musical"! Can you tell she's a fan?

Happy Birthday my beautiful child! May the next year bring you love, joy, and peace!

I Love You!!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Happy Birthday Cody!

Happy Birthday Bugs! This strapping young lad is 13 today! Look out Tammy, you have a teenager on your hands!

Cody has turned from a major pestifanolious into a caring, helpful, compassionate young man. He has been through so much(losing his sister when he was 9) and yet he has opened his arms and embraced Alyssa with complete love and acceptance.

If a person could choose a son, I would choose Cody. Sure he is a pain in the ass sometimes. But he is also a lot of fun to be around and a really good kid! I can't wait to see the man this kid turns into. He is going to make some girl very happy!

Have the bestest birthday ever!

Love you bunches and bunches!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Puppy in Progress?

Alyssa is on a mission! She wants a puppy so bad! Jeff and I aren't quite sure she is ready so we gave her a list of goals that she has to meet. Good plan right? Well, Alyssa is working on her last two goals. They are 1) go 1 month without hurting anyone and 2) keep your room clean for 1 month.

We thought that #1 was a no brainer. But since her meltdown last week, she has to start all over. Jeff & I never thought, in a million years that she would be able to keep her room clean. Matter of fact, we figured she would only make it 2 days!

I am proud to report that Miss Alyssa is now on her 2nd WEEK! I know! Pretty amazing eh?

Alyssa and I are going shopping tonight for Cody's birthday present. She says she knows exactly what he wants! She will be purchasing her own gift for Cody, so I am hoping she chooses wisely.

We are still trying to figure out what we are going to do on Friday. It is Alyssa's birthday. I work both jobs so I basically get to come home from one job, change my clothes, and go to the second job. Jeff has a ball game at 7:20 that he doesn't want to miss, and Alyssa wants to go up north because Auntie and Cody will be there! I think Jeff and Alyssa will probably go up after Jeff's ball game and I will go up in the morning. At least that's the plan for now, that may change 100 times before Friday.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Happy Birthday Cindy!

Well it seems that Alyssa's meltdown has cleared the air and released all pent up emotion! Friday after work we all went out for a fish fry, and then went and watched Jeff's ball game. It is very exciting now because they are only 1 game out of 1st place and there is only 2 games left! Not bad for a bunch of old sppooocks, eh? Our Alyssa has been so respectful and so responsible we keep wondering if this is really our daughter???

Saturday was Cindy's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CINDY!!! I would post a picture, but Cindy hates having her picture taken so getting a picture of her is a very rare occurrence. This one was taken at our adoption party.Don't get the wrong idea, Cindy is a joker. She was using props to help tell her joke, and she really got the laughs! Especially from Alyssa's teacher!

And this picture was taken last year on Alyssa's birthday. Cindy and Leigh were tickling Alyssa and this picture is the result. Check out the look on Alyssa's face!

Saturday was a pretty quiet day for us. We stayed home and I cleaned the house and got caught up on my laundry. Jeff took us out for dinner and we came home and watched the movie "College Road Trip". OMG was this movie hilarious. We laughed so hard that Alyssa almost peed her pants!!!

Sunday was uneventful too. Of course, Miss Alyssa got a little lippy as we were walking into church. She does this EVERY TIME! I don't get it! She gets whiny, sassy, and downright disrespectful right before we walk into church, literally! She remains that way until the service starts and then usually settles down and follows the service. I have no explanation for her behavior and I can't figure it out.

Sunday afternoon we went to a street dance that raises money for special needs services. The money raised gets donated to various schools and organizations in our community that cater to children with special needs. We had great fun and Alyssa learned to Polka and play the stump fiddle. Daddy was soooo proud! We ran into some friends that we haven't seen in a while and it was really nice to get caught up. We've also ran into former friends that decided they don't want to be our friends anymore. I get angry, Jeff gets hurt. I am angry that these people couldn't give Alyssa a chance! I'm angry that they have the NERVE to judge us! I'm angry that we meant so little to them that they couldn't stick it out! Yes, they saw Alyssa at her worst. But they have also seen the progress she has made. THEIR LOSS!!! I am so over it!

Today is Monday. Thursday is Cody's birthday and Friday is Alyssa's! I have much to do this week! Lots of presents to buy and wrap. We are celebrating the kids birthdays up north so not only do I have to get everything bought and wrapped, I also have to haul it all! It will all be worth it though!

I am going to attempt to get caught up on my paperwork at home. I hate to file so I have a tendency to throw everything that needs to get filed into a big pile. I don't think that I have touched that pile in two years. Yes, you read that right, I said years! Wish me luck!