Wednesday, April 30, 2008


I sat for 2 hours last night and paid bills and balanced the check book! Every time I turn around, someone wants money - and it's not just $5 or $10 - NO they want $100 at a crack! I told Jeff that people get nutty! I'll explain - or rant, as the case may be.

Since Monday, I have dished out the following:

$35 - Registration fee for after school day care for NEXT year
$110 - Down Payment for summer child care at the YMCA
$125 - Down Payment for summer camp at the YMCA
$142 - Field trip fees, lesson fees, etc. for summer child care at the YMCA
$44 - Weekly after school day care charge
$20 - Supplies for a school project
$24 - Misc fees and field trips

Grand Total = $500
All spent on Miss Alyssa, everyone expects it NOW!

The knowledge that Alyssa is able to participate in "normal" activities and projects = PRICELESS!!!

In all seriousness though - Why does everybody expect everything at one time? Sign up dates always seem to be bunched together. Why can't they spread them out? Oh sure, I could wait two weeks to sign up for field trips and lessons, but then all the really cool ones that Alyssa wants will be filled up and she will be stuck with tap instead of hip hop like she was last year!

I know - I really shouldn't complain! I am thankful for a lot of things. One of which is Cindy & Leigh. Cindy is my friend that lives up north. She is one of my heroes! She has gone through an ugly divorce, an MS diagnosis, and still remains upbeat and a great Mom to her daughter Leigh. Leigh is almost 17, and is a counselor for the Girl Scout camp. Leigh has invited Alyssa to attend camp with her for a week this summer at NO COST TO ME! Leigh is prepared for a week with Alyssa and I think actually looking forward to it. We'll see how she feels when the week is over!
I am nervous for Alyssa to be away from home for a whole week. I don't think she is ready, but Alyssa is excited and said to me - "Mom, you don't have to worry! I know you will miss me, but it's only a week!" I told her that I was more concerned how she would feel being gone for a week, and she replied, "I really think that I will be OK. I know that you will still be here when I get back, and I know that I will still have a home to come home to. And most of all, I know that you will miss me and WANT me to come back!" This was almost word for word what I really was worried about! She is definitely one smart little cookie!

I miss Cindy and Leigh! I haven't seen them since Christmas! Way, way , way too long to go between visits! I checked the calendar and it looks like it is going to be at least three more weeks before we can work something out! Little Miss Alyssa has so much going on that the weekends fill up fast!

Listen to me complain! My life is pretty great if that is all I have to complain about!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Family Fun with the Family Girl

We always tell Alyssa that the reason we go to therapy is so that she can learn how to be a family girl. It's a concept that she can understand, and it takes the focus off of "Alyssa's Problems". Well, we saw the Family Girl in action this weekend!

Friday night we went to Family Appreciation Night at Alyssa's day care. By grown up standards, it was pretty lame. But Alyssa had a blast! She loved being able to dance with Mom & Dad and ended up winning a door prize! We brought home a whole bucket of outside toys. Alyssa was so excited to have won! She was responsible, respectful, and FUN, all night. Even when we said it was time to go, she didn't whine, argue or complain! We got home and she got ready for bed, and even said "thank you" to us for taking her!

Saturday we went to Tundra Lodge. It is an indoor water park about 50 miles from here. We spent the entire day swimming and having fun. We took Alyssa to Chucky Cheese for supper and we all decided that next time, we eat first! The pizza was AWFUL, but Jeff & Alyssa had tons of fun playing all the games! We got back to the hotel and Alyssa took a shower and then I braided her hair. Daddy fell asleep and started snoring and Alyssa was so worried that she wouldn't be able to sleep 'cause Daddy was so LOUD! We solved that problem by waking Jeff up and told him he had to stay awake until after Alyssa fell asleep. It didn't take long, we had a long, busy day and Alyssa was pooped! Then I had the pleasure of listening to BOTH of them snore!

Sunday morning we woke up and hit the water park one more time. We played for about 2 hours and Alyssa spent most of that time trying to get Mom & Dad drenched. She finally achieved her goal and then was content to leave. We got dressed, checked out of our room and then went to IHOP for a big breakfast.

The weekend was so wonderful. Alyssa said that this was the best weekend ever! We told Alyssa that we were so proud of her behavior. We really stressed that the reason the weekend was so fun was because Alyssa behaved just like a family girl. We all worked together, we compromised, we did things that we all enjoyed, and we enjoyed just being a family.

As always, we were prepared for the bomb to drop on Monday. Usually, after a fun weekend, Alyssa doesn't know how to handle the let down and falls apart. I am very proud to say that she had a wonderful Monday! She even talked to me in the morning about how she felt sad that the weekend was over, but that she knew there would be more fun weekends!

I spent the day yesterday being very reflective. For the first time, I really see the person my daughter hides underneath all those layers of hurt. Bit by bit, those layers have been peeled away and my daughter is coming to the surface. Her life will be forever affected by the trauma that she endured. But my daughter is a survivor! She is working hard to overcome and accept her past. She is working hard to be a family girl! She is succeeding! Alyssa has a very unique personality and she really is a lot of fun. She is bright, caring, energetic, and she is my daughter!
Daily life will not always be this bright, but the future will be! My daughter is developing genuine feelings, genuine compassion, and genuine LOVE!

Alyssa truly is a FAMILY GIRL!!!!

Friday, April 25, 2008


I think Alyssa is finally starting to trust us! How do I know this? Well, good question. There hasn't been one defining AH HA moment. I just realized this morning that Alyssa was actually talking to me about her feelings. We were talking about the fact that she was careless with her reading book from school, set it down at day care and now it's gone. I told her that she would have to tell her teacher that she lost the book, and she would have to pay for it. As we were talking, she kept telling me to stop talking about it. She usually does this when she feels bad, or uncomfortable about something. Instead of feeling safe enough to talk about it, she keeps everything inside and then ends up getting angry! Well, anyway, this morning she looks me right in the eye and told me she was lying about the book!!! She really did leave it at day care but she originally told me that she left it in the gym. Come to find out, she took it out to the playground and left it there! I was so angry that she took her book outside because we have had MANY instances with Alyssa leaving her things at day care and we have given her strict guidelines regarding her school things. Being the great Mom that I am, I pushed down my anger and PRAISED Alyssa for telling the truth! We talked about how important it was to tell the truth and why it was important! Alyssa then told me that she thought she should get TV taken away for a week because she lied. I asked her what she thought she would learn from that? She thought about it and said she probably wouldn't learn anything. I told her that her consequence for lying would be to write a letter to Mom & Dad, apologizing for lying. She also needed to include in her own words, why it is so important to tell the truth. She also needs to tell her teacher that she lost the book, and that she would be paying for it.

The point to this story is that I realized that for the first time, Alyssa opened up and talked about something without getting angry! She was able to express her feelings, and her disappointment in herself! She also realized that the reason she lied in the first place was because she thought Mom & Dad would be more upset about leaving the book on the playground than in the gym!

My tootsie is starting to really care what we think, not because she might get into trouble, but because she wants us to be proud of her!

Like we could be any prouder of that brave little girl, our darling daughter Alyssa!!!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Tapping & Chucky Cheese

OK, I admit that I am new to the Mom thing. I also admit that it has been ALOT of years since I was in the 3rd grade. But, I swear to God that teachers give out "group" projects as a way to punish parents. On the one hand, its great that Alyssa gets to work as a team and be able to practice NOT being the boss. But, on the other hand, why is it that so far, every get together has been at MY house? And why am I the only Mom purchasing supplies? Now, I realize that this is my first official group project as a Mom, but I seem to remember the whole group getting together and assigning each person a project. One of the little girls has not even been over because her Mom will only let her get together at the library! I have asked Alyssa repeatedly to get this little girls phone number so that I can call her Mom and set something up for the girls to get together. Apparently, this little girl won't give Alyssa her phone number!? I told Alyssa to ask one more time and if she still won't give her the number, I will talk to her teacher. Now, I have two thoughts on this issue, 1) this little girl has home issues, 2) Alyssa and the other girl working on the project are trying to "force" this girl to the outside. I told Alyssa that if I find out that #2 is the correct scenario, she was in BIG trouble. So, we will see what happens.

Jeff had therapy last night and he learned some "Tapping" techniques. I have heard very good things about this type of therapy so hopefully Jeff will have some success with it. Alyssa wanted to know why Daddy had to go to therapy alone, but when she has therapy, Mommy and Daddy get to go with her to help! I told her that sometimes when you are an adult, you have adult problems and you need to work on those problems by yourself. But I also told her that if Daddy needs our help with anything, he will ask us! I was really proud of Alyssa for being concerned about Daddy. We decided that if Jeff has success with the tapping, we are going to enquire about it for Alyssa.

I want to do something this weekend! I want to have fun as a family! This means we have to go somewhere because if we stay home, I won't be able to just let the chores sit. So, we will probably go away, where? I have no clue! We are going to talk about it at supper tonight. This morning we decided that we each had to come up with an idea and then we would decide tonight. Alyssa informed me that her idea was to go to Chucky Cheese! Like that will be fun for Mom & Dad! We'll see, maybe we can sneak it in!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Life as a YO-Yo!

Last night, Miss Alyssa was responsible, respectful, and fun to be with! We had supper and we talked about our day. Alyssa asked about mine and Jeff's day, poured the milk for everyone, and was a pleasant, happy, NORMAL, child!

After supper, she worked on homework (she had already done her strong sit by the time I got home!), worked on homework that wasn't due yet(whoo, hoo!) and then asked if we could watch a little TV. So we snuggled up on the couch and watch a program for 1/2 hour and then it was bed time.

We did our usual bed time ritual: Story, we gave her the destination for her dreams, and hugs and kisses. I had just closed her bedroom door when I hear "Mom?". I walked back in her room and asked her what was up. Alyssa wanted to know if I would still love her if she was bad. Well, I assured her that I would always love her, no matter what! She seemed happy with that and snuggled down to bed.

I have to admit that this question has sent red flags flying all over! Now I'm wondering OK, what did she do? I really hope I'm wrong, but I'll just have to wait and see. Then, almost 2 hours after putting Alyssa to bed, she comes wondering out of her room saying she had a sore throat. So being the great Mom I am, I sprayed the "magic" spray and shooed her back to bed. I went in her room to tuck her back in and she was laying on the floor!!! I just do not get it! Why does she want to sleep on the floor? She has a perfectly good bed, clean sheets, and a warm blanket, all decorated in "High School Musical". WHY WOULD SHE WANT TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR???????

OK, I'm over my outrage, but I must admit that this is going to bug me until I can figure it out!

This morning, Alyssa was once again a joy to be with. I hope this lasts, I really am starting to look forward to the time we get to spend together in the mornings. My daughter is a bright, silly, goofy, happy little girl!

I feel like I am a yo-yo! One minute we have perfectly normal behavior and then the very next moment, something strange happens like Alyssa wanting to sleep on the floor! I must admit that I am very confused by all this and sometimes I get frustrated. I am trying very hard to go with the flow and not get all crazy! That is a very difficult thing for me! I have a tendency to get stuck on the little stuff sometimes.

I am going to choose my moments and attempt some "heart to hearts" with Alyssa. I WILL FIGURE THIS OUT!

Jeff has therapy tonight. I think he is actually looking forward to getting started. I know he really wants to feel normal again, and Lord knows, I want my husband back!

Here are some rambling thoughts:
I think I have spring fever!
I really need a new car!
I miss Tammy.
I really think that I am weird!

Life is good!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


When I got home from work yesterday, Alyssa was outside riding her bike. She came running up to me and apologized for her behavior that morning! It was so nice to be greeted this way and also to hear a sincere apology! I really do see so much growth and progress.

So, we finish dinner and I tell Alyssa to do her strong sit before she starts her homework. No arguments, no obnoxious behavior, just a little bit of stalling. So, we finally sit down and I start doing her hair while she is working on her homework. Usually, math is super easy for her and she breezes right through. Last night, she really struggled. I am still trying to figure out if she really was having a hard time or if it was an act. Last night I thought it was sincere, but this morning as she was finishing up her math from last night, I knew she understood, and was just putting on an act! I will never understand the reasoning for trying to act stupid???????? What purpose does it serve? Alyssa is a very smart little girl and yet every once in a while, DUH?????????

This morning was very pleasant in our house! Alyssa really tried hard to make the morning a good one. She got up right away, hopped in(and out) of the shower in record time. I actually got to take a hot shower this morning! She got dressed, made her bed, ate breakfast, got her backpack ready, all with a smile on her face and a very happy disposition! She did struggle with her homework, but I finally just told her to ask Mrs. M for help at school. Maybe she would be able to explain it so that it would make sense. Alyssa looked at me, very puzzled, and said "Aren't you going to help me anymore?" I explained that I didn't know any other way of helping her and since she still wasn't understanding, I wouldn't be able to help her. She was caught in the middle of a dilemma. Either admit that she really did understand, or go to school with her homework not done. She chose to go to school with her homework unfinished. But, I think she learned a lesson this morning and won't pull the stupid act any time soon!

So, it is another beautiful spring day and I am getting antsy to get outside and start planting and beatifying the yard again. BUT, it is way too early and I will have to wait at least 3 - 4 weeks or my hard work will get frozen out!

Spring has finally Sprung!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Busy Weekend

Friday night, I had to work. Alyssa had her book fair / spring dance at school so Jeff got to take her all my himself! When I asked Jeff if they had fun, his reply was "Alyssa did!". According to Alyssa, Daddy wouldn't dance with me, and according to Jeff, Alyssa danced all night with her friends! Alyssa was excited because she got to stay up late! I personally think they both had fun!

Saturday was a perfect spring day here! The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze and it was around 55. We decided that it was a good time to do some after winter clean up. Well, Alyssa got a phone call from her friend that is working with her on her social studies project and wanted to know if Alyssa could work on the report for a while. We agreed that they could work on the project for two hours, so the kids ended up at our house. I had to supervise them on the Internet and help them with questions, so I never did get any work done outside. Then of course, Alyssa wanted her friend to sleep over, so I said yes! Alyssa has been working very hard to be a good friend and she did just awesome on her sleep over! Her friend even had to go home earlier than expected on Sunday and she handled the disappointment really well! Sunday, she cleaned up her room from the overnight, and then played with the neighbor. I kept expecting an end of a busy weekend blowout and none came. She even went to bed a little early because she was tired!

This morning, we had a small defiance issue, but she realized that she was crossing the line when I thanked her for letting me know that she probably wasn't ready for THAT fun of a weekend. When she calmed down and thought about it, she knew she was wrong and said she was sorry. She still has to go to bed 1/2 hour early tonight though! We talked about the fact that she was always happy when things went her way, but if things weren't happening the way she thought they should happen, lookout! She is going to try really hard to improve!

You know, we had a long, busy weekend. But I realized how much progress Alyssa has made. Last year at this time I would have NEVER trusted her enough to have a friend sleep over. I would not have trusted her enough to let her play outside, unsupervised. I would not have trusted her to make good choices. This weekend, I had no worries! Alyssa was responsible, respectful, and fun to be with all weekend long. She has made very good choices in her friends, and actually asked me to help her on her new bike!

My little girl is growing up and healing her heart, all at the same time!

Friday, April 18, 2008

A Mean Mom!

Last night was AWFUL!!!

Alyssa decided that she was going to be in control of everything and when I got in her way, she blew!

She came home from school OBSESSING about a social studies project that was assigned. She needed to call another girl to come over because they were working on the project together. OK, fine, not a problem, but when the little girl wasn't home, Alyssa became obsessed with this project, worrying that the little girl would be mad that she didn't call(uh, she did?????), they wouldn't get done(project isn't due until the end of MAY), on and on and on!

I told Alyssa that she needed to get started on her homework. She did her language worksheet, and then I said, let's do your reading(she reads to me for 15 min). Well she didn't want to do her reading yet, wanted to study spelling! OK, no problem. I start quizzing her on her spelling words 'cause she has a test on Friday, every word she spells wrong, and then I get, it's too hard! I told Alyssa that her brain needed a recharge and I wanted her to do a strong sit! Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because she starting screaming! Then, she hit me and then she kicked me! That is when I informed her that she just earned herself an early bedtime because she was clearly showing me she was tired! She comes back with You're mean! I said yes, I know, I'm the meanest Mom on the planet. She looks me right in the eye and snarls, Now I know why God didn't give you kids!!!! It was said with pure hate! I started to cry! I then thanked her for making me cry and then informed her that she was going right to bed. It was 7:00pm. She immediately apologized('cause she knew she went too far). I thanked her for the apology and told her she still had to go to bed. She got really ugly twice after that when she tried to con me into letting her stay up and I wouldn't cave, but she finally fell asleep about 7:45pm.

This morning she apologized again. This time, I think it was sincere!

Thursday, April 17, 2008


Well, two days in a row Alyssa came home will bad behavior reports from school. She has been talking(to the point that she got her desk moved), being disruptive, disrespectful, etc. School is usually the one place where she doesn't have problems. Jeff and I sat down with her last night and tried to talk with her about her behavior at school. She mentioned a lot of little things, nothing big, and I thought we had the issue settled. She was going to offer to stay in at recess today and tomorrow so that she could pay her teacher back some of the time she wasted. She went to bed happy and I thought, problem solved.

This morning, Alyssa did everything in slow motion. It was like watching the Alyssa of a year ago get ready for school. We had a big problem for a long time getting to school on time, but since implementing and tweaking new "schedules", we have not had a problem. So anyway, we finally leave for school and I look in the mirror and Alyssa is sucking her thumb! She used to do this a lot! Now, the only time she does it is if she is really stressed or worried about something. I asked her if she had something on her mind and reminded her that she could talk to Mommy about anything, no matter what it was and she said she was fine, just a little tired. I didn't push and I let the subject drop. I just got an email from her teacher saying that Alyssa has been sucking her hair!

Excuse me while I beat my head against the wall and pray for inspiration!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Well, I think that spring is making everyone act weird! I just don't get it! I love spring! It is a time of rebirth, fresh starts, new life! Hopeful! Not for my daughter! She is winding up for a blowout, I can feel it but I can't put my finger on the trigger. Last night she wanted to sleep on the floor! When I told her no, animals sleep on the floor, little girls sleep in their beds, she got all bucky and obstinate and wanted to fight. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction but HUH??????? Where in the hell did THAT come from? She also brought a note home from school saying that she was very chatty! That didn't surprise me. I think that we bring so many thoughts and feelings up in therapy that in order for her to quiet her thoughts she chats to drown them out. But, something is up with my sweetie, I just know it!

Jeff started his therapy last night. He wanted me to go along as it was his first appointment and needed some support. I liked the therapist and I think she will be able to help him put his demons to sleep. Next week he is all on his own! I can't tell you how proud I am to be his wife!

Our homework this week is peacefulness an family unity. We are supposed to work on making it better. We brought home Dairy Queen for a treat last night and Jeff's idea of "working together" was throwing every body's dish away when we were done! He was so proud of himself! God love him!!!

I need a new car! My piece of shit Neon is going to fall apart from under me soon! But oh, the thought of another car payment makes me want to cry! I keep hoping that we will win the lottery but I guess that is not likely to happen! There are so many important projects that need to be done around the house, plus a car, how do we prioritize? Do we get a car and hope that the roof holds up for one more year? OK, enough boo-hooing! Tomorrow is another day!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


We had therapy last night. Paulette(our therapist) gave us a checklist to determine the areas that Alyssa needed to work on. She told Alyssa that everything on the list was normal "family kid" behavior. We discovered that we are about 1/2 way there. While Alyssa loves to cuddle and spend time with us, she still does not trust us completely. How do I know this? Well, by the areas on our checklist that we still need to work on. She has never fallen asleep in my arms. She doesn't seek us out when she is sad or lonely. She still thinks that we are going to "give her away". Those were her words by the way! We have come so far, but we still have a long way to go.

Helping Alyssa through her trauma has triggered memories of Jeff's past abuse. He was abused by his father and never put the past behind him. He just buried it in his past and it has now come back to haunt him. He starts therapy tonight with an adult trauma therapist that also specializes in EMDR. I am hoping and praying that he is able to resolve his issues and make peace with his past. I need my husband. Raising a RAD is stressful enough without having to do it all yourself.(Lisa, I really don't know how you do it!) . I am a person that needs to talk and hash things out and not being able to use my husband as a sounding board, or even have a serious conversation with him is taking its toll. I think that was a big reason for me starting this blog. It really does help to have a place to vent! I hope that Jeff comes back to me soon, it is hard living with a ghost of who your husband used to be!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Rambling thoughts and a Guardian Angel

We had a very lazy weekend!

We didn't do anything very exciting and we had no upsets or outbursts! That in itself makes it very noteworthy! Alyssa has made such wonderful progress. She is more open to talking about her feelings, and is very quick to apologize when she is being disrespectful. I am proud of her... Oh yea, that reminds me, Alyssa brought her report card home on Friday. She received ALL 3's (commendable) for effort! It was a very good report.

Saturday night Jeff and I had a date night. We met Bruce & Tammy and had a few drinks. Bruce is Jeff's brother. He is my God send and I really don't know how our family would survive without him! He picks Alyssa up from Girl Scouts on Wednesdays and he is my "McGuiver". Bruce can fix anything and is the first person we call when something breaks or when we need help building something. Tammy is my best friend(we go way back to middle school) and just happens to be engaged to Bruce. Tammy has two kids. Siarra would have been 20 in June. She was killed in a car accident three years ago. Cody will be 13 in August. He is an awesome kid who loves Alyssa and puts up with a whole lot from her! Tammy babysat for Alyssa over spring break. We were talking about how the week went and I don't know why this made me so happy, but Alyssa told Tammy that she was mean! Now you would think that I would be sad for Tammy, but I giggled like a little girl! I was so excited that Tammy finally got to see the real Alyssa, that I couldn't stop smiling! Just so you all know, Alyssa loves her "Auntie" and has told me many times that she wishes Auntie could be her Mom. To know that Auntie got the "you're mean" speech, made my heart a little lighter!

Anyway, we got on the subject of Alyssa's strange fascination with anything Siarra. From the first day we had Alyssa, she has had this "connection" to Siarra. Alyssa informed me that she knew Siarra because she was her guardian angel! I don't doubt it for a moment! If I ever had any doubt, the weird tongue roll that Alyssa could suddenly do was proof enough! The only two people on the planet that could do this weird, strange tongue roll thing was Siarra and Cody. Well, one day, just like that(as I snap my finger)Alyssa could do it too! It freaked us all out! You know people always say that when one door closes, another opens. I think that is true. I have been thinking about that alot since Saturday and I truly believe that a part of Siarra will always live on in Alyssa. I can't explain it, I can't put my finger on an exact reason, but my heart tells me that Siarra is sitting on Alyssa's shoulder. I just hope that she is guiding Alyssa on all the good things and not teaching her "all ways to irk Gerri". Truth be told, I think she's doing both. God help me!

OK, enough of my rambling! I saw the weather report and we are supposed to see 60 this week! Dare I hope that spring is actually, finally here!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Thank You

Last night, I was trying to get Alyssa ready for bed. She was going through her usual stalling tactics. As usual, I wasn't giving in and I got the your mean speech. I looked at her and said I know, I know, I'm the meanest Mom on the planet. Brush your teeth and go to bed. My little darling looked at me and opened her mouth to say something and then got this look on her face and said Mommy, I really didn't mean that. You aren't mean and you do a lot of stuff for me. And I don't say Thank you ever, so THANK YOU MOMMY!!! She really meant it and was so sincere!

I see so much progress in her healing. Some days it seems that nothing has changed and then things like this happen and I realize just how far she has actually come.

I went to see Alyssa's class play this morning. She was the Mom. It was so cute! She was so proud that I came and WAY excited over the fact that I brought the class a treat. She thanked me for coming and when I told her that she did a very good job at portraying the Mother, she said it's because she tried to act like me!

It is raining and crappy out and supposed to SNOW tonight, but LIFE IS GOOD and I am the happiest woman on the planet right now!

Thursday, April 10, 2008


Hi everyone! I am starting this blog in an effort to educate. I am hoping that people will see this and be able to get an accurate look at adoption and life with a RAD. I am also hoping that I will be able to achieve inner peace! I stress so much about so many little things that I end up driving myself crazy! I hope this blog will quiet all the little voices in my head...

My name is Gerri. I am married to a wonderful man named Jeff. We welcomed Alyssa to our family on October 20th, 2006. Our adoption was final on May 11th, 2007. Alyssa had a rough start to life and had been in many homes prior to joining our family. She has suffered much abuse and trauma and her little heart has been broken. We are working with a great therapist and Alyssa's heart is healing! The road has been rough at times, but the journey is worth it! Our home has been filled with more laughter and love than it ever has.

Some of the people you may hear about:

Jeff is the love of my life. He is a quiet man who loves to fish. He is a GREAT Dad who is learning that kids (especially little girls) are LOUD! Jeff has 4 brothers, most of which we are close to. He plays in a dart league and joins his friends for Sheepshead every Thursday night. He is my Hero and without him I would be lost. Jeff is a dedicated husband, father and friend. He is the type of person that everyone trusts and everyone likes. I am PROUD to be his wife.

Alyssa is a soon to be 9yr old beauty! She is all girl! She loves High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and anything pink. She is my RAD. Alyssa loves to sing and dance. She wants a puppy, we keep saying "When you are ready". She informed us that when she grows up, she wants to be a Teacher, Doctor, Singer, Dancer, Super Model, and a Movie Star. She is going to buy Mom & Dad a big house in Hollywood so that we can live by her 'cause she would miss us too much! YOU GO GIRL!!!

I love being a Mom! I have the most fantastic friends alive! I like to scrapbook, crafts, and read. My biggest fear when we adopted Alyssa was learning how to do her hair. I have 1 sister that lives far away and we are not all that close. I have been informed that I'm weird and I do not disagree. I am loud when I need to be and am a fierce protector to those that I love.

You will hear many more names on this blog, but this is the main act! We are a family of 3 with a large extended family of close friends. We fight, we cry, and we laugh. We are nowhere close to being perfect, nor do we want to be! We have daily struggles as we fight the monster of RAD, but we learn and move on. We believe that God meant for us to be Alyssa's parents, and for Alyssa to be our daughter. He brought us together and He will see us through!