The Real Alyssa

We had therapy last night. Paulette made the comment that this is the first time in a year and a half that she has seen the "real" Alyssa. She could not believe the change since our last session not quite 3 weeks ago. She also said that she could "feel" the difference. I was glad to hear that because I have felt like that for a while now. I think alot of it is that I don't feel like I have to be on guard every single second! Paulette gave Alyssa homework. She is supposed to work on being truthful, work on taking responsibility(not blaming others) and Alyssa and I are supposed to look in a mirror and try to make the same face. This should be interesting. If I catch Alyssa gazing in the mirror without me, she has to give me a quarter!! I wonder how much money I'll make???

I have caught Alyssa gazing at herself in the mirror. ALOT! She is just looking at herself. This is my theory:

Alyssa knows that she is changing, growing, healing! But, I don't think she recognizes this new person as Alyssa. This new person laughs, is happy, is safe and secure. I think she is having a hard time meshing the "old" and the "new" together, hence the gazing. I am hopeful that the homework from Paulette with help with this. I want Alyssa to be able to recognize what happy, sad, mad, glad look like. Perhaps if she sees it on my face, and then copies that face and sees it on her own, she will be able to complete the puzzle. Keep your fingers crossed!