Thursday, September 18, 2008


After Monday's behaviors, I thought we had a good plan in place for when Alyssa had feelings to share. Well, apparently not! Another lovely morning in our house had me on the verge of running away. I allowed Alyssa to get to me! She pushed and pushed and finally pushed me right over the edge! I finally literally walked her out the door and placed her in the car. I drove her to school, pulled up in front, and said "Get Out!" Never said I love you, have a good day, nothing but a disdainful "I hope your attitude gets better!".


Please don't yell at me! Please don't tell me that I have to remain calm and loving. I know all that. I can usually attain that. But not today. Today I'm just tired and I've had enough!

I better back up. I have been asking for help around the house for a while now. Let me just stop right here and make it very clear that I love my husband and my daughter, BUT... So anyway, I have been up late for the last few weeks, trying to get stuff done, trying to stay on top of things while my husband and daughter either plunk their butts in front of the TV or go off and play or whatever! Then my darling Jeff has the balls to tell me that I'm nagging and I should quit telling him what to do! Then when I told Alyssa to finish up her chores that I assigned her on Monday, she starts whining and caring on about how she wanted to play. This was the last straw!
I pulled her into the living room where Jeff was, turned off the TV, and let them have it with both barrels. It went kind of like this:

What is it exactly that makes you both think that you don't have to do anything around this house? Do you think it is MY job to do everything? Do you think it is fair that I am working from the time I get up in the morning, till the time I go to bed, while you two are relaxing and enjoying yourselves? Jeff interrupts here with "Make a list and it will get done". Make a list, why do I have to make a list? Can't you see what needs to be done? I look around this house and I can see hundreds of things that need to be done! Have you no pride in your home? Just as I said this, Alyssa took the newspaper and put it on the floor 'cause it was in her way. I said, what makes you think that it is OK to put the paper on the floor? Do you think its OK to toss stuff wherever because it is in your way? Alyssa responds with "Well Daddy does it!" Yeah, Daddy does it. Doesn't mean it's OK. I then continued, Do you not care what our house looks like? Jeff says, "Of course we do". I respond by saying, "Then why is the towel that you used to clean gas up with LAST week, still laying in the driveway?" No response. Ultimatum delivered. Either I get help or I am going on strike! They both jumped up and got to work. I ran to the store. When I got home, they had their 1 chore completed and were on the couch. God forbid that you do more than 1.

So, I was ticked off from last night. Then to get the attitude out of Alyssa this morning - too much! I could really relate to Heather's post. Some days it just becomes too much. I agree with Heather. Tomorrow I will return to the role of warrior. I will slay dragons, wipe tears, and clean my house, all with a smile on my face and love in my eyes.

Today, I am going to be pissed off, and cranky, and ornery. And I am going to make sure that my family understands that I am serious and that I deserve to be appreciated for what I do. No more slackers, no more excuses. Everyone is going to do equal work! And if they don't? This Mom is going to have a nice long vacation in the local looney bin!!!


Anonymous said...

Men just don't see messes the way we do. When I met my husband, 27 years ago, he lived in a crappy little apartment with pizza boxes piled up in the corner and banana peels and dirty socks on the floor. Needless to say, I was horrified.
He got better under my tutelage (he calls it nagging) but I still find the occasional dirty sock on the bedroom floor and the apple core on the nightstand. I explain about bugs and remind him to use the hamper that's 12 feet away. He cleans up but he isn't invested in having a spotless home the way I am. He would cheerfully invite people over and not clean the bathrooms or pick up in the den or the living room. He would sit on the couch and hang out until the guests arrive.
He uses the ploy of pretending not to know where things are. We've both lived in this house for 20-plus years but he is clueless about the location of vital items like toilet paper, screwdrivers and band-aids.
The capper was last week when my college student son was doing some kind of car repair that involved cleaning hubcaps in the kitchen while I made dinner. The boxes the hubcaps came in were piled in the dining room and I had to step over them while putting dinner on the table. Husband came home from work, sat down at the dinner table and looked at me. I was busy lugging empty boxes out to the curb for the recycling truck. When the food failed to leap onto husband's plate he turned to me and asked, "Do you want me to serve myself?"
He has no idea how lucky he is to still be alive.

Christine said...

I still write down what I need my husband to do. In the beginning, I wrote down HOW I wanted it done. Ya' know, his mom did everything (EVERYTHING) for him growing up. So, I have had to show him how to clean a toilet, how to wash and put away dishes the way I want it done, etc.

One day I wrote myself some notes on all I needed to get done for dinner (it was kind of a big night, with several things to cook). Well, I ran to the store and came back to find everything grated, diced, boiling, etc. He said, "I didn't know you left me a list! I'm so sorry. I just saw it about ten minutes ago!!"


Unspeakable Joy said...

oh i've soooo been there!!! sorry, i really feel for ya! my dh is still transitioning to working at home with me. when i worked at home, cleaning was 100 percent my responsibility (which so isn't right) but now that he's home, i'm like no way baby!! he is doing more, but it's just not the same!