Trust and Respect

Last night we had therapy. I wanted to share some of the awesome suggestions (and homework) that Paulette gave us.

We have seen a real shift in our therapy sessions. When we first started seeing Paulette, the sessions were very traumatic and our goal was getting major behavior issues under control. Now that the major behaviors are under control, our focus has shifted to more specific issues. Last night, Paulette read Alyssa a book about personality traits. (The title was something about cookies, but I can't remember what it is). Alyssa was told that each trait that Paulette read, she should list either in a "Doing Well" column or a "Need to Work on" column. Based on Alyssa's list, we chose two traits that we were going to work on in the next two weeks. The first trait was "Trustworthy". The book explained "trustworthy" as if I ask you to hold my cookie, when I come back, my cookie will still be there. So Alyssa is to make a poster with the word "Trustworthy" on the top. Each time Jeff and I "catch" her being trustworthy, we draw a cookie on the poster and write a one word description of what we "caught" her doing. For example, this morning I asked Alyssa if she put deodorant on. She started to lie, but then caught herself and admitted she forgot. I congratulated her for being trustworthy and got to put a cookie on her poster! WAY COOL! Alyssa was very excited to see that first cookie!

The second trait we decided to work on was respect. Again, Alyssa made a poster with the word "Respect" on the top. When you show respect to people, yourself, and your things, it makes people happy. So every time we "catch" her showing respect, we will put a smiley face on her poster with a one word description. She seems really excited about this so hopefully it will make her more aware of how her words and actions affect other people.

I have to say that Paulette seems to have an unending bag of tricks. This latest homework project is really going to make Alyssa think. The coolest thing is that in Alyssa's mind, it is fun and almost like a game!

Just wanted to mention that whenever you are dealing with attachment issues, the rule is always "You need to have an attachment therapist". I don't necessarily agree with this. In my mind, an attachment therapist is someone who is trained in a specific "camp". For instance, either trained with Nancy Thomas, Daniel Hughes, Bryan Post, etc. These people do intensive therapy and only treat with one style. I have always recommended to people that they search for a therapist that specializes in adoption and trauma. Like Paulette. These therapists understand attachment disorders. They read EVERYTHING that is available about attachment. They suggest techniques and treatments based on a multitude of "camps". They are not afraid to try techniques from various philosophies and they are very hands on. They work with the family as a team and develop a strategy that works for the individual child. I think that the most important thing to look for when choosing a therapist is 1) The therapist does not meet with the child alone and 2) The therapist is willing to try various strategies and 3) The therapist is someone that you TRUST!

Back to our homework. Alyssa told Jeff & I that she is determined to fill up both posters before we see Paulette again. Awesome goal! I think she is going to work real hard to achieve it!