Feelings

Last night, we avoided a melt down. How? I caught the signals. We were just getting ready to walk out the door, we had some errands to run, when the phone rang. It was Alyssa's friend. K had another friend over, C, and had called to say hi. I heard Alyssa say to K, can I come over? Well K immediately said yes, and then Alyssa turned to ask me. Being such an observant Mom, I realized that in such a short span of time, there is no possible way that K had OK'd this with her Mom. I told Alyssa that K had to ask her Mom, and if it was OK with her Mom, then she could play. Well, K asked her Mom, and the answer was no. Only one friend over at a time!

We finally got into the car to get our errands done, and I notice Alyssa is sucking her thumb. I asked her if it tasted good and she snarled at me! I didn't say anything further and changed the subject. A little bit later, Alyssa is still sucking her thumb and we meet up with Jeff who is in his truck, also trying to get his errands done. He is in the lane next to us and beeps his horn. When Alyssa turns her head, YUP you see it coming don't you, Jeff sticks his thumb in his mouth and pretends to be sucking his thumb. Unbeknown to Jeff, his teasing set off a ticking time bomb! Alyssa started amping up for a good blow! I immediately asked her what was bothering her? Of course, she said nothing! But then I said, well if nothing is wrong, why are you sucking your thumb? Her response? "'Cause I LIKE it!" I then told her that I thought she was sucking her thumb because she was sad that she couldn't go to K's house. BINGO!!! Alyssa whipped her head around and looked at me like I had just appeared out of nowhere! She was shocked to realize that was exactly how she was feeling and further shocked that I had figured it out!!! Her shocked silence gave me the opportunity to remind her that it is OK to have feelings and it is also OK if she can't identify those feelings. Mom & Dad are here to help her figure them out. By the time we got home and Jeff got home, Alyssa was back in a good place. She even made the comment as she was sweeping the floor (punishment for being disrespectful), you know Mom, if I would have talked to you right away, I wouldn't have had to sweep the floor! AAAAAHAAAAA!!! The light bulb comes on!

Just a side note: We do not torture or tease our daughter in an attempt to ridicule her. She has asked us that when we see her sucking her thumb, we say something. She does it out of habit, and half the time doesn't even realize she is sucking on it! It usually happens when she is really tired or stressed out about something. My asking her if her thumb tastes good or Jeff sucking on his own thumb, are usually a gentle reminder that she is doing it! She really doesn't want to suck her thumb anymore 'cause you know Mom, I'm in fourth grade now!