In Loving Memory

We had her there, resting on the palm of our hand for a while.
She was all we ever wanted.
Sometimes her wings were closed.
Motionless.

At other times, she spread her wings open in the bright sunshine,
Displaying her colorful patterns.
We truly loved her.
She knew that.

We told her she was special and beautiful, we saw the beauty.
We appreciated her true colors.
But we couldn't keep her.
We knew that.

She was born to fly.

She had been beautiful in our hand, but in flight she soared.
In the garden amongst the colorful, sweet-fragranced flowers.
Her habitat.
Free.

In letting her go, we made her happy.
But she was always to remember our warmth and our love.
Always and forever.
For all of eternity.

Happy Birthday Siarra

Today would have been Siarra's 21st birthday.

I miss her!

Happy Birthday sweetheart!

Update

Hi friends. Yes, I am still alive! Things are very busy here and I can't believe that May is almost over!

Alyssa is doing extremely well but getting very antsy for school to be over. Last night she asked me if she could skip school today. She wouldn't watch TV, just lay in bed and rest.

I told her no. Imagine that. Then I had to explain why I told her no. Do you know how hard it is to explain a good work ethic to a 9 year old? I think she finally got it!

I am asking for prayers for my friend that is going through some health issues. Please send some prayers up that her news will be good.

I will try to keep up on my reading, but I have spring fever and have not been spending much time indoors.

My thoughts are with you all.

Adoption Day

Today is the 2nd anniversary of our adoption being finalized!

Yesterday was Mother's Day.

I know, it's alot lumped together, but we have tried to acknowledge the days and still keep them low key. Our biggest celebration is held in October, when we celebrate our "Gotcha" day. Today we will not do anything really special, other than have DQ ICECREAM CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a unanimous vote! We are all ice cream junkies!

Oh, and my mood is improving - my bathroom is almost finished!!!!!!!!!

Woo Hoo!!!

Katharine Leslie

Katharine Leslie is going to be doing a webinar. May 18th. 10 AM to 11:30 AM CST. $30.00 Grab all your fellow Radical mom's, invite them over for tea and split the cost. Continuing education credits will be issued if you need/want them. Dr. Leslie presents at Attach every year and gets rave reviews. Also a parent to radicals which gives her big stars in my book. ;-) She doesn't just "get it", she lives it.

Parenting from the Trenches
Do you have a child who lies, steals, sneaks, stalks, hordes, chatters non-stop, or urinates in places other than the potty, etc? In this webinar Dr. Leslie will teach you essential, sensible, safe and effective solutions to your child's behavior problems that can also increase positive behaviors in your child, create an attachment friendly environment, simplify daily life, reduce family conflict, and even get some of your parental needs met. Dr. Leslie will weave lecture material around questions from the audience.

AGENDA
This is a 90 minute Webinar

Quick overview of attachment and brain facts

What children are supposed to give to the parent-child relationship

What do you really want from your child?

Preventing negative behaviors

Rehearsing positive behaviors

Punishment vs consequences: What's good for you?

Click here to sign up: https://www.meds-pdn.com/continuing_education.php?seminar_id=2442">Parenting in the Trenches

I'm in Hell

My bathroom is still not finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My house is a mess and I am losing my mind!

Alyssa is feeling the stress and her behavior is - well - let's just say - trying.

Swine flu has arrived in my town.

The economy has struck close to home - again.

Please remember our nuthouse in your prayers!!!

Already?

Alyssa came home from school yesterday and informed me that a boy in her class asked her to go to the dance with him!

She is 9 and in the 4th grade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeff cracked me up. He got real pale and said "Already?"

HE HE HE!!!

My Response

To all my devoted readers...

NA NA NA BOO BOO - YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!!

Just a response to my comments. Uncle Bruce is mine, and I am not giving him away nor am I borrowing him out! He's mine! All mine!!!

I truly am soooooooooooo sorry that you don't have your own personal "Uncle Bruce", but I am NOT sharing!

Bye, Bye old Tub!

We are busy, busy, busy! And to top it off, living in the midst of chaos. I know, what's new right? Well, this chaos is self inflicted!

We have a lovely cape cod home. We bought the house 10 years ago and have been slowly remodeling. I have wanted to remodel the bathroom for a long time. The problem is that we only have one bathroom! Well, we decided to take advantage of the long Easter weekend and start the remodel. The wonderful, amazing Uncle Bruce came over bright and early Friday morning and began swinging the sledge hammer at the old, HEAVY, cast iron tub. Thursday night, we tore off old molding, pulled down the old shower surround, and emptied everything out of the bathroom. So, back to Friday. Bruce had the old tub out in one hour!!! We then tore all the old dry wall out from around the tub. By the time Jeff got home from work at noon, Bruce was already working on the plumbing. By the end of the day on Friday, the new tub was installed and the plumbing was all in place! Saturday, the new dry wall went in and the shower surround was being installed. Sunday, the rest of the surround was installed and the caulking got done. Monday, Bruce had to stop over after work to replace the drain pipe that was leaking! Even after breaks for church, dinner, and the Easter Bunny, we have a working shower again! Yea!!!

We now need to replace the remainder of the dry wall in the bathroom and reinstall the vanity, prime, paint, and we are done! We are hoping to have it all complete by this weekend. I am repainting the bathroom cabinet and some of the accessories, so I have a lot of work to do!

So that is a summary of our chaos. Now, for some AWESOME news. Alyssa has been awarded "Student of the Month". The defining character trait this month was perseverance. We know how hard Alyssa works but having others recognize the fact that she doesn't give up is just priceless!!!

Also, more great news! Those of you that have been around awhile know that Alyssa has been lucky to have the most awesome, wonderful teacher, Mrs. M, for the past three years. Well, there has been a lot of realignment in the district for next year and YES, you guessed it, Mrs. M has been moved to 5th grade next year and Alyssa will be in her class!!! Someone is definitely looking out for us!!! Alyssa has been so successful in school and I have every confidence that the success will continue!

Update on the job search........... No change!!! There are so many BIG companies in our town closing that the unemployment rate in this city is almost 13%. We had a big manufacturing influence and the economy has hit hard! I applied for a job yesterday that had just been posted online 4 hours earlier. I received an email thanking me for my application, but there had been so many responses that applications were no longer being accepted! 4 hours people!!!

So, I'm off to work on the bathroom. We don't have a sink in there yet, but we can shower and use the toilet, I can deal!

I will try to check in when I can. In the meantime, you are all in my thoughts!

Progress

I am a proud Mom!

These last couple of weeks have been different. I posted that we have seen a resurgence of control issues. While that is true, we have also seen a change in Alyssa's overall behavior. We are starting to be "in tune" with each other. I remember having that kind of connection with my Mom, and I am now starting to have it with Alyssa! I can't describe how good that feels! We have been getting along better and Alyssa has been much more respectful!

Our home is calmer, more loving, and we are all working together! It is a wonderful feeling to see the security in my daughter's eyes! Change is possible, healing is possible. I know we will continue to have ups and downs, but I see a bright future ahead of us. My biggest wish for Alyssa has always been that she just be a normal kid. A child that knows she is loved no matter what, a child that is happy and feels secure. Alyssa is becoming that kid and it is the greatest feeling in the world!

Back to School

Spring break is over and we survived!

Actually, we did more than survive, we had fun!

Alyssa had a few rough moments, but overall, handled herself great! Our plans even got changed at the last minute and she handled the change in an appropriate manner and with the proper emotion.

Our biggest problem seems to be a resurgence of control issues. It is beginning to affect her friendships also. I have not been able to find a reason for her bossiness. It is as bad, if not worse than it was at the very beginning. I am definitely open to ideas.

So, I probably won't be posting much, I need to get caught up on my reading. My peeps have had a busy week!!!

A Welcome Break

Early release from school today and then a whole week off.

Last year I was dreading Spring Break but this year I am really looking forward to it!

What a difference a year makes, huh?

Alyssa is determined to do a lot of chores this weekend so that she has a lot of spending money for shopping next week. We are not doing anything really earth shattering, just some "girl" stuff. Shopping, lunch, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, a special spa day with Auntie.

I can't wait!

I probably won't have a chance to blog, but we will see. If I don't check in, please know that I will keep you all in my thoughts!

Spring Fever

It was 73 degrees here yesterday!

I spent the whole entire day outside and it was wonderful! Today is a return to reality with an expected high of 50. It's OK, I can handle 50, it sure beats the heck out of 10!

Alyssa has been doing really good. Her attitude has been awesome and she is really trying hard. She has been working hard to be respectful and it is paying off! Yay for me!

Next week is spring break. I have to say that Alyssa really needs it. Her enthusiasm for school is slipping and she really needs the break. We all have spring fever so the break is really needed!

Lemonade Award

I was awarded the Lemonade award from Brie! Visit her and say Hi! http://attaching.blogspot.com/

Here are the rules...

1. Copy the above logo and put it on blog or post.

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs that show attitude and/or gratitude (Those who add sweetness to life and/or inspire you by making lemonade.)

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know they have received this award by commenting on a post.

5. Nominate your favorites and link to this blog.

I would like to pass this award to the following:

Torina at http://busyintersection.blogspot.com

Accidental Mommy at http://takenlife.blogspot.com

Dia por Dia at http://ranchochico.blogspot.com

Kelly at http://nomoremoves.blogspot.com/

Tracey at http://myoncecalmlife.blogspot.com/

Ali at http://crawfordlifetimes.blogspot.com/

Each and every one of these blogs have inspired me and made me laugh!

Visit them and say Hi!

Too Funny to Not Share

I received this email and laughed so hard that tears were flowing! It hit very close to home and it was too funny to not share................ENJOY!!!


I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to $h!t yourself' chili". Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your ***** cheeks WILL fall off.

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.

Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.

The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake.

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my *** is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofabitch!', then quickly left.

Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'

That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.

Am I Old? Really???

I picked Alyssa up from school yesterday and we went to Wally World to pick up a few things. We are going through the check out and the lady at the register (who was in her 60's) called me Alyssa's GRANDMA!!!

Ok, I will admit that I am no spring chicken anymore, but people, I am 43 years old. Am I really old enough to have a 9 yr old GRAND DAUGHTER???????????????????????????????

I think NOT!!! By the way, I don't look 43! Those of you that know me IRL(in real life), will attest to the fact that most people think I am in my early 30's. I don't act like an old bag (shut up Tammy), I don't dress like an old bag, WHY WOULD YOU THINK I AM AN OLD BAG?????????

I tell you, I wanted to jump over the counter and bitch slap that woman!

Alyssa didn't hear the woman call me her Grandma. When I told her why my face was all red, she started giggling and said, "Well, maybe you should have had makeup on".

Jeff, of course was quick to point out that I am old enough to be a Grandma! That may be so, I do not deny it. I am old enough to be a Grandma. BUT I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE GRANDMA TO A NINE YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously people, if any of you have any connections to the folks at TLC's "10 Years Younger", you need to hook me up. I apparently really need the help!!!

I received an Award!

Lisa gave me an award! I definitely do not feel worthy, but will accept it with my heartfelt thanks!

The Dardos Award is given in "recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web."


The rules:
1) Accept the award by posting it on your blog along with the name of the person that has granted the award and a link to his/her blog.
2) Pass the award to another five blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment, remembering to contact each of them to let them know they have been selected for this award.

I am going to break the rules. I know, big shocker!

I am in awe of all the bloggers that I follow. Therefore, I am passing this award to all of my followers, and to all of the blogs that I follow! Each one of you have given me courage, strength, or just comic relief, and I think you all deserve it.

Thanks for all your well wishes. I applied for two different jobs today so keep your fingers crossed for me!

We have therapy with Paulette tonight. Yea! Alyssa is suddenly having control issues again. I will be glad to get her back on the right track again.

Busy Week

I can't believe a whole week has flown by. We haven't had any earth shattering events, just a lot of stuff going on. Alyssa has a lot of school stuff going on and has had a lot of demands on her time. I am very proud to say that she has been handling them very well!

She has had to get homework done and violin practice in and has jumped in and gotten it done with a great attitude. She hasn't blogged, but it is because she has been busy. I continue to hope that she will continue to blog as a release. I firmly believe that blogging is an awesome tool for her continued healing.

Alyssa has had a few moments of bad attitude, but she has used the tools that we gave her and has been able to switch things up and turn her attitude around. I am so proud of her determination!

I am going to school today to have lunch with Alyssa. I have never done this before, so I am looking forward to it!

Job hunting has hit a new low! Twice a week, I check the new job listings for anything that I am remotely qualified for. THERE HAS BEEN ZERO NEW LISTINGS FOR ALMOST TWO WEEKS!!! I must admit that I am starting to get a little worried. I know we will be OK with home bills and responsibilities. What worries me is that keeping and maintaining our summer vacation spot will become impossible. And let me tell you, WE LIVE UP NORTH IN THE SUMMER! We all love to be able to get away for the weekend and I don't want to lose that. So, if you all could just put a good word in with the man upstairs, I am confident that something will come my way.
The pictures are some shots of our labor day celebration up north. If you look close, you can see the lake and one picture has our boat in the background.

Weekend Get a way

We got the heck out of dodge for the weekend!

We planned a spur of the moment, inexpensive, weekend get a way. We went to see the Titanic exhibit at the Milwaukee Museum, and then spent the night at the Hilton, where they have an indoor water park. We got a fantastic package deal and we had a blast!

We decided to let Alyssa bring a friend along. We made the right decision. Both girls enjoyed the weekend, and Jeff and I were able to relax too. If Alyssa didn't have a friend along, we would not been able to just sit back and relax. We enjoyed watching the girls have fun!

Alyssa did awesome all weekend! Yea!!! When we got home yesterday, the neighbor kids were outside playing. Alyssa bundled up and out she went. She was outside for about 45 minutes when I heard the screaming and Alyssa came running in the house. She got hit in the face with an ice chunk! It was an accident, but wouldn't you think that the neighbor would at least walk over and see if Alyssa was ok? I would have gone to check! Any way, Alyssa has a cut on her eyelid, and on her nose. I was worried about her having a shiner, but this morning everything had faded.

She woke up this morning a little out of sorts. I had prepared myself for a rough morning because of the fun weekend, but I am happy to report that Alyssa pulled herself together, turned things around, and got off to school on time! She even has a cold and doesn't feel real great, and yet a pretty good morning!

Woo Hoo!!!

Another Good Day

Another good day! Alyssa was able to stay on task, and get back on track when she needed to.

Actually, she only had one rough patch. She was supposed to help Daddy with two chores. Necessary chores required for her to be able to attend a birthday party on Friday. She did the first chore with no complaints. When it came time to do the second, she decided that she was going to be in charge instead of Jeff. Jeff immediately put a stop to her control and said that she had a choice: either do it his way or don't do it at all. He then turned around and walked away. She complained and ranted that he wasn't being fair and yada yada yada. He then asked her what her choice was going to be. She chose to do the chore his way, and be his assistant instead of the leader!!!

Yea for Jeff!

Alyssa wanted to blog last night but between homework, required chores, and Ash Wednesday service at church, she didn't have time. I was just happy that she wanted to blog!!!

Our last therapy session with Paulette has definitely made changes here. Jeff has become more involved in day to day stuff, and Alyssa is once again working hard to be a family kid! As a result, I feel much more relaxed and calm. Win, win for all involved!

I am going to enjoy this new phase in our life. I am going to pray that it continues.....