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Monday, October 6, 2008

WHATEVER!

Our days of sunshine are over and I got my sass mouth back!

Oh yeah, and let's not forget the queen of control!

Our morning went something like this:

Me: Alyssa, it is time to get out of the shower.

Alyssa: I just got in here! Do you want me to get out before I even wash anything?

Me: Finish up, you have 5 minutes.

Alyssa: Well, if I'm not done, I'm not getting out! I just washed my hair! I have to wash my body! Do you want me to go to school stinking?

Me: (five minutes later) Alyssa, finish up, the water is going off! I have to get in their too!

Alyssa: OK (the water goes off)

Alyssa, then proceeds to putz and do everything in her power so that I can't get in the bathroom. I finally get really angry, tell her she is being inconsiderate, and tell her to get out of the bathroom - NOW!!!

Ayssa: YOU ARE THE MEANEST MOM! I CAN'T EVER GET READY, I ALWAYS HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM SO THAT YOU CAN GET IN! YOU ARE ALWAYS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!

Me: Thanks for getting out of the bathroom sweetie!(As I am physically picking her up and putting her in her room).

I finally am able to get in the shower and get ready for work. Alyssa is putzing, gazing at herself in the mirror and arguing about everything!

Me: Let's go Alyssa, we are running late.

Alyssa: I'm walking!

Me: No, you are getting a ride. The neighbors already left!

Alyssa: So! I am old enough to walk to school by myself!

Me: Get in the car Alyssa!

Alyssa: FINE! As she is slamming the door and stomping her feet!!!

Me: Starting tonight, some things are changing. You will once again be going to bed at 8:00. You obviously aren't getting enough sleep when you go to bed at 8:30. From now on, you need to be in the shower by 6:30am. If you are not, no shower! I will once again be doing your hair in the morning as you have shown Mom that you can't handle the responsibility!

I will leave you with Alyssa's response that continued ALL the way to school!

Alyssa: YOU TREAT ME LIKE A BABY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD REALLY MAKE ME GO TO SCHOOL WITH NO SHOWER! MAYBE I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DOING MY HAIR TODAY, DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAS TO BE YOUR WAY! DO THIS, DO THAT! THAT'S ALL I EVER HEAR! YOU JUST WANT A PERFECT DAUGHTER! I AM NOT ALLOWED TO EVER MAKE A MISTAKE! NOW, JUST GO TO BED EARLY! THAT WAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEND ANY TIME WITH ME!

Me:(as I pull up in front of school) Have a good day honey. I Love You!

Alyysa: Yeah, WHATEVER!

OMG - the sass! Is this control issues or is this normal 4th grade girl behavior? Let me tell you, IT IS NOT NICE!!!

6 comments:

Dinah said...

Well, lol, I have a perfectly "normal" 3rd grader and I've heard the, "WHATEVER" respsonse too. Grrrrrrrrr!!! And I can remember talking back to my mom too. That's what so hard about some RAD behaviors...are they normal or are they RAD?!?! Some are clearly RAD, others I don't know.

Maybe she just got up on the wrong side of the bed and will be Miss Cheery after school!

Kelly said...

I haven't adopted YET so I have nothing to compare to but Oh my I can tell you all about sass! It is not tolerated around here but I still hear some of it EVERYDAY! It is only the beginning let me tell you girl. My kids are 6,10,12,14,&15 and all but the 6 year old are sassy at times! Some more at night and some more in the morning and some more right after school. They are not as sassy with me because they know I won't put up with it but to each other it never ends. Esp. my girl. Comes natural to those girls, but boys are not immune! I think you handled the situation GREAT. Brace yourself..you're in for a loooong ride. As much as I hate to say it she sounds really normal on this one. Have Fun!!! :)

Lisa said...

Sounds familiar.... Maybe some of it is like J in that it's coming up on anniversary of getting her. For us...adoption day was 11/27/07 but I got her on 10/23/06 (we are so close together...) and when I got her I claimed her. Told her no more foster homes and she was adopted now so that's our problem date.
BTW...there's more for you on the therapist site. Comment in email though please.
Hugs Gerri! You're a fabulous mom!

Rick said...

Sounded a lot like our oldest when she was that age. She's now 24 and getting married this Saturday. We still have a few moments of "joy" with her, but she turned out. A lot of prayer - effort - patience - and love went into that girl.

Thorn said...

I vote for a little of both! (Though I admit that I've mentally and occasionally very quietly added the WHATEVER myself in dealing with my partner, so maybe it doesn't stop with 4th grade. She's just so cranky and passive-aggressive before she gets her coffee!) And might hormones be an issue? I know she's still very young, but it sounds like something set off an irrational snit.

I do hope when she gets home she'll be in a new mood!

Sugar-n-Spice said...

Sounds familiar, except mine comes in a 4 year old dose. I can't imagine if she was big enough (and smart enough) to concoct more elaborate schemes and conversations.

She's beautiful! And I hope that she will settle again soon. My RADling has kicked her behavior up a notch, too. arg. But we have a new baby, and we've had lots of appointments and errands that are out of the ordinary. I think that's the major contributor at our house. Maybe October is just RAD-sass month.