Friday, October 3, 2008

Random Thoughts

Following: This new feature on blogger is awesome! Leigh helped me figure it out and when Torina mentioned it in her blog it made me realize that I am already taking it for granted. So, if you are reading my blog, please say hi and follow me! I would love to know who is reading my blog.

Readers: I have readers from all over. WAY COOL! I am begging - please say hi! Also, if you have any questions regarding RAD or need advice, or are just curious about anything, please ask. I will be happy to answer your questions!

Blogging: I am finding it very hard to find things to blog about! Alyssa is in such a good place right now that I almost feel bad blogging about it. So many of my cyber friends are struggling and having a tough time that I feel guilty bragging - yes bragging, about how well Alyssa is doing. I also don't want to jinx it! On one hand, I want everyone to know that healing is possible! I also want everyone to know that I was once where you are now. I have felt the fear and the hopelessness that Alyssa's heart would never heal. I know what you are going through. When I was in that dark place and scared half to death, I had my cyber friends, Lisa in particular, giving me advice, praying for me, and just being supportive. That's how I survived my low spots!

I don't want my real life friends to feel bad. They love me unconditionally and have supported me with love and laughter, and occasionally, respite! Thanks Tammy! But, they have never raised a child with RAD. They don't know what it is really like. Don't get me wrong, they ask questions, understand the importance of following the rules we have in place, and support us in every way possible. BUT, while they understand the importance of doing what we do, they really don't understand it. Not like all of you! Blogging gives me the opportunity to express my joys, my fears, and my hopes while not being judged, and really understood by the people that read me. I have tried to explain this to Tammy, I think she would really benefit from blogging. I think it would help her to connect to other Mothers that are living with grief. It would help her to connect to other people that really get it. I have lost both my parents, I understand grief and loss, but I have never lost a daughter(and God willing I never will!) so I do not understand the grief a Mother feels. Blogging gives you that connection. It can help your heart to heal!

Finally, I am going to leave you with some random fall pictures. They are from 2 years ago, our first Halloween with Alyssa. October 20th, it will be 2 years that we have been a family. My how she has grown!


Dinah said...

Please don't feel bad about posting positive news! We need to hear that there is hope for recovery because sometimes it seems so many bad things happen with these RAD kids that it's hard to think that there is hope. We need proof! :)

Unspeakable Joy said...

oh don't stop posting the good!!! i crave the good! dh just said today that our daughter is serial killer cold on the inside. that's scary crap to deal with! he's in a very hopeless place right now and says i'm lucky i'm a woman cause hope is easier. whatever, but i do have some hope, because of hearing the positives! so there, you are now responsible for my family's hope! hee hee! :)