I need a break!
Alyssa has upped her game and I find myself feeling exhausted and at the end of my rope. In some respects, Alyssa's attitude and behavior have turned around and improved. On the other hand, while the major behaviors have disappeared, a ton of minor ones have crept up. I think these are harder to deal with! She is whiny, sassy, and most of all forgetful! Her "forgetting" things is really enough to drive me over the edge. I don't know how to fix it. I have used every suggestion given to me in regards to her lack of responsibility and it has gotten worse! I give up. I don't know what to do anymore and I am getting to the point that I don't even want to hear it anymore. So, once again, if anyone has ideas, PLEASE HELP ME!!!
The next thing that I don't know how to deal with is Alyssa's sense of entitlement. She actually got in an argument with a little girl at the Y yesterday because she didn't invite Alyssa to her birthday party! Never mind that it was only the 4th day of summer day care and that they haven't seen each other for a whole year. No, this little girl was just supposed to know that Alyssa would once again be at day care and have an invitation waiting for her on day 1! I admit that I snapped. I looked at Alyssa who was crying because this little girl "was mean to me, Mommy" and told her that if that was the way she behaved with other kids, it was a miracle that she had any friends at all! If someone took that attitude with me, I would never want to hang around them! Well, my daughter became outraged with me, started crying even harder and threw all the standard "I hate yous" and insults my way. I didn't care!
That is when I realized that I need a break! I really had no empathy, sympathy, or desire to "teach" Alyssa the proper behavior. I was done! So what did I do? Nothing! I walked away, sat down and watched TV. Let Jeff deal! Oh and by the way, his way of handling the situation was to bribe Alyssa into doing a strong sit. Nice job Daddy! So, here I sit, admitting to the world that I am an awful Mom! I just don't care! When does it get to be my turn? When does Mom get a break? Jeff has a night out every week - When is it MY turn?
I work tonight and I have decided that tomorrow I am going to leave my family at home and I am going to go play! I know that I am just setting myself up for disaster on Sunday but I just don't care! The messy house and chaos that will overtake my home will happen whether or not I am there to clean it up!
Just once, it would be nice to not have to be the bad guy! Jeff is always the nice guy because he defers all discipline to me. He does not like conflict so he chooses to ignore it. I on the other hand get left holding the bag. Just once, I want to be the nice Mom, the Mom that isn't tired and stressed out! I want to be Gerri, the person that used to be fun and a good friend, and a person that people liked being around. I'm not that person anymore. One "friend" told me my daughter was a beast, and honestly, my other friends hardly ever call me anymore. I don't call them either. By the time I put Alyssa to bed, I have nothing left. I'm sad! I'm lonely! I have become a shell of the person that I used to be. I am soooooooo tired!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Exhaustion
Posted by Alyssa's Mom at 9:36 AM
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5 comments:
I am sooooo sorry Gerri!! Good for you for taking a break. That was probably the smartest thing you could've done!
I know exactly what this feels like.
First of all you need and DESERVE a break. TAKE IT!!!!! It will help you remain Awesome Mom status! You know the old saying...if mamma ain't happy..... Before you leave give Jeff a list of things to do that you would've done if you had been there. Being the awesome husband/dad that he is I am sure he will step up to the plate. That way at least SOME things will get done and you can return in some peace.
Try:
AFTER you take a break and are rested: Whenever Alyssa is whiny send her to her room without a word of explanation from you. Do it every time. Same thing with sassy. My suggestion on forgetful is send her to a think spot to do strong sitting until she remembers. "oh honey.....I am so sorry you're having a hard time remembering....just hop on over to your think spot. As soon as you remember you may feel free to come tell me. I look forward to hearing from you." Big hug and maybe a twirl around.
You are a fabulous mom!!!! Consider yourself hugged {{{Gerri}}}
L
P.S. Gus is the exact same way!
And that is exactly why I hide in my closet. It is a nice walk-in closet. The dog now calls it her room but enjoys my company. That little stuff I call "Chinese Water Torture". It is horrible, isn't it? I dealt with it all morning. My daughter forgot how to wear a swimsuit, how to put on a shirt, how to change, how to brush her hair, how to wipe, and on and on. She is 13 and knows what she is doing. And I am exhausted, too. Let's take an e-nap together :-D
BTW, I do what Lisa suggests a lot by removing Tara from the situation and giving her time to "think". It keeps me from completely going nuts.
Ok Gerri....it's time to post....
waiting for you....
Hugs, Lisa
Oh, and our friends have all mysteriously disappeared, too. It sucks but you make new ones who "get it" and usually live in your computer. It all just takes time and ALLLLL of your energy :) Hang in there.
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