Wednesday, November 19, 2008


In order for us to begin using "Emotional, Regulatory Healing" from our conference last Saturday, I need to reduce my stress. I live under such a load of stress that saying I need to lower my stress and actually doing it are two completely different things!

Take for example, Jeff. Jeff was diagnosed with PTSD. Dealing with Alyssa and her journey with her past, brought up terrible memories of the abuse Jeff suffered at the hands of his father. Jeff is dealing with his past now. He went through therapy(tapping) and he is on medication. He is much better.

Well when this all started, I started shielding him from most if not all of Alyssa's worst behavior. I didn't want to add to Jeff's problems. So, basically, I started doing it all alone! I also quit talking about it because I felt like everyone was getting sick and tired of hearing about all my little issues! You see, most of the big ones(behaviors) are gone now. Now it is the constant drip, drip, drip of all these little annoying behaviors that 'bout drive me over the edge!

So, now Jeff is telling me to quit protecting him. In my head, I know I can't do it all myself! But in my heart, I am so filled with worry that what if he is not ready? That I end up stressing out about it! And so the story goes. The thought of having to figure out how to reduce my stress is actually stressing me out!

So all my blogging friends. Please share with me your tried and true methods for reducing stress. Is there a pill I can take? Is alcohol the only answer? I really would appreciate any and every suggestion you have!


Torina said...

I went on Paxil. It is an anti-anxiety med. But I am mostly crazy anyway ;) I have my crafts and books and I used to hide in the closet when the screaming from you-know-who got particularly bad. I also got myself a yoga ball and stretch every night and morning. (I HATE exercising so this is a fine substitute). Dogs and support groups help a lot. Both listen without judging...

Sugar-n-Spice said...

Oh... the chinese torture.... drip, drip, drip.... we are SO there!

I've found truly taking care of myself is life or death in my house. Walking has made a dramatic difference in my outlook/attitude. Sometimes I walk alone, which is needed, sometimes with the whole family, sometimes with my neighbor. I'm not sure why it makes a difference, it's not like I LOVE to walk or anything, in fact, I often dread it. However, it seems to have a direct affect on my day. Add a little better nutrition, (for me it was less sugar/carbs, more water, protein and fruits/veggies) and suddenly the "fog" was lifting. Drug free (though I'm not opposed to drugs if necessary). We are still in the middle of SCREAMING fits. And actually, I found a drawer my RADish has been peeing in. So for those very high stress moments I rally the other kids for some "skip to my Lou" ( the up and down activating the limbic system) and belly laughs cause a couple of them are just too dang cute trying to skip!!!! ;) Painted toe nails seem to have a direct correlation, too! hahahahaha!

And I know you already know it... but don't forget respite! Date nights for you guys! :) Hope the stress comes down soon.

Lisa said...

Picture me reading your email this morning. Hysterical I tell you. That was absolutely the funniest thing I've ever heard. I'm not laughing at you, honey, I'm laughing with you. ;-) ;-0
Two peas in a pod we are.

Juli said...

Hey Alyssa's mom! Juli Alvarado here! Glad you were motivated by my workshop, and I am inspired by you and in stitches reading your blog!!! Don't we all get that way at times! And losing your job! Wow, please, call for a coaching session with me, the first one is on me. Let's work out a stress busting plan specifically for you with the reality of what it takes to parent RAD children and not weigh 300 lbs, move into addictions, get divorced or end up bald ! :)

Your blog is a must and I want to find a way to get my ENTIRE contact list to you for following this blog!!! Are you ready, shall we collaborate??

Tranquility, calm, joy and peace are OUR rights. We deserve them, I can help you get them, in your family regardless of the children you are raising. I am one of you, raising them myself, and teaching parents, therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists how to use regulation to move from Chaos to Calm with attachment challenged children and families.

Let me know and anyone out there wanting more information on Emotional Regulatory Healing, contact me at

john said...

do i know how you feel. We suffered PTSD just living with our older son. I went on Paxil and it really really worked. It took a few weeks on it before i really noticed the difference. "RAD kid, bring it on, Im on paxil now, you want to dance, lets go!!!!!!!lol
hang in there